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Are You Friends With Your Friends' Friends?


Prokofy Neva
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Not sure.  I don't do FB and other social media.  I have a FB page because they forced me to get one, in order to belong to a couple of groups there.  It's tied down as tight as I can tie it with zero friends.  (YAY!)  Friendships in virtual, to me feel closer and more intimate than real.  It's easier to open up.  That's probably not a good thing.  For me it's like that though. 

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Prokofy Neva wrote:

I find that the worst people can be friends of your friends on Facebook.

In SL, it doesn't always work that way.

Is this about weak ties getting weaker on social media, and virtual world immersion being a better substrate for human relations?

 

The only people I'm friends with on FB are people I have an RL connection with (I don't have an account in my SL id there). I don't feel any pressure to make friends with 'friends of friends' so whether I like them or not tends not to matter. I don't use FB a lot to be honest - more of a way of keeping in contact with people I can't see that often so I log in once or twice a week at most.

In SL I really only spend time with either new acquaintances - getting to know them - but mainly with old friends. I don't have too much time inworld these days so I try to make my time there count.

I do think that you can build quite intense relationships with people that you spend a lot of time with inworld - I'm not sure that could be replicated in a 2d environment such as FB. But I do have a feeling the answer to this will be as varied as the number of people viewing it.

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I really can't say one way or another about Facebook, since I avoid that data mining pit like the plague.

But within SL, if a friend asks me to come meet another friend of theirs, and they make a positive first impression, I usually will offer friendship to that person, at least to get their calling card and to make a note in their profile that I know them because they are a friend of so-and-so, and when/how I met them. If my friend likes them, perhaps I may like them too, and I'll give them a chance.

If they continue to interact with me in a positive manner, both when they are also with that first friend, and on their own, they remain on my Friends list. At that point they really are becoming my friend, and not just a 'friend-of-a-friend.

If I rarely if ever interact with them after that first meeting, or if I simply don't get along with them, I un-friend them eventually. But I keep the calling card, so I know I met them before. If I un-friended them for a reason, like the other person always argued with me or did things I found revolting, then I might note that in their profile via the calling card, so if I encounter them later I can be reminded of that past history.

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Prokofy Neva wrote:

I find that the worst people can be friends of your friends on Facebook.

In SL, it doesn't always work that way.

Is this about weak ties getting weaker on social media, and virtual world immersion being a better substrate for human relations?

I'm really hoping that you expand your thoughts a little more.  It's like you have so much to say but held something back.  All the makings of an interesting discussion if you'd just fill in the blanks a tad.

 

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There are two reasons for me to be friended to people in SL or on FB, either I actually know & like them or they're part of a subcultural social network I'm involved with. Because of the latter reason, I tend to aquire some "friends" who I don't really know well.  If I like how someone thinks and/or care about them, I'll want to read their FB posts & talk with them there or in SL. But I don't want a huge collection of "friends" either in SL or on FB. Too many is just annoying.

I don't generally want to be friended to my friend's friends, since I feel I have enough of my own.

My SL frienships tend to be just as deep as those I make elsewhere online or in RL. I'm fond of many people, but only a few friendships develop into deep & lasting ones.

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I can barely cope having a list of friends, I always seem like a bad friend cause I do not have much time to be online, so the time online is not nearly enough to say Hi to every friend in a list and a chit chat, so I would definitely not friend, the friends of my friends  haha

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SID Riler wrote:

I can barely cope having a list of friends, I always seem like a bad friend cause I do not have much time to be online, so the time online is not nearly enough to say Hi to every friend in a list and a chit chat, so I would definitely not friend, the friends of my friends  haha

The same here, i only friend them if my friend is a close friend and i do meet their friends often enough to know them well.

 

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On facebook and SL, I am freinds with people I personally know. a huge freindslist of people I rarely chat with doesn't do much. I am always willing to meet new people and become freinds over time if we have things in common.

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The main difference is that on Facebook, everyone else can see who your friends are. On SL, no-one but you can see them. So there's far less drama about who's friended with whom and "i-won't-be-your-friend-because-you're-friends-with-HER!"

Sometimes I think "Friends" was a really bad choice of word for lists like these, because they're often used for lots of other purposes too. The word itself generates drama.

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