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When you see an avatar who needs help with their appearance - what do you do?


Venus Petrov
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I stop by one of the many Welcome Areas a couple of times each month to see if anyone needs or wants help.  Sometimes they seek help in finding things that will improve the appearance of their avatar--to whatever they want it to be.  It is easy to help newbies because they are open to suggestions and interested in learning more.

What about those who are not so new to SL?  Have you ever met someone who, you think, could use help with their appearance?  Perhaps it is matching the skin to their shape, adjusting the prim bits on their clothing, editing hair, just anything.  Have you ever said anything to try to help and, if so, how was it received?

For those reading who feel they would like help, what kind of help would you want?

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Venus Petrov wrote:

I stop by one of the many Welcome Areas a couple of times each month to see if anyone needs or wants help.  Sometimes they seek help in finding things that will improve the appearance of their avatar--to whatever they want it to be.  It is easy to help newbies because they are open to suggestions and interested in learning more.

What about those who are not so new to SL?  Have you ever met someone who, you think, could use help with their appearance?  Perhaps it is matching the skin to their shape, adjusting the prim bits on their clothing, editing hair, just anything.  Have you ever said anything to try to help and, if so, how was it received?

For those reading who feel they would like help, what kind of help would you want?

I try to help where I can Venus, few days ago I met a newbie, the guy was a bit sad with his basic avatar appearance, my sissy and myself did a full make-over on him (for free), hair, shoes, cloths, skin, shape, AO and he looked soo... HOT. He is still very thankful and he got a nice boost for his first steps in this fantastic world. That's why I still think that LL could give newcomers a better basic avatar and for sure give them an AO, noobwalking is out to my opinion *meows*

 

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Depends on the situation, if someone is clearly experienced I would assume they are happy with how they look and leave them alone :) ... If they have obviously got a problem I would probably just ask if they knew there 'x' was wrong... not fitting ...  whatever :)

 

If they are new I would help any way I can.

 

 

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I first look at profiles and check rez dates.  If they're less than 90 days old in SL, I dive right in. (^_^)

Otherwise, for older accounts, I ask if they've come back from a break out of SL.  If yes, I assume about a 90-day's worth of experience.  Otherwise I'll simply not talk about appearance. (^_^)

But!!! When I I'm on the subject of appearance; I start at the most glaring defect.  Attachment gaps, hair prims poking through eyes, prim shoes with no shoe base on.  Address it with "Did you know...?"  And start nit-picking from there depending on their answer. (^_^)y

 

 

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Imnotgoing Sideways wrote:

But!!! When I I'm on the subject of appearance; I start at the most glaring defect.  Attachment gaps, hair prims poking through eyes, prim shoes with no shoe base on.  Address it with "Did you know...?"  And start nit-picking from there depending on their answer. (
^_^
)y

 

 

I was in just that situation recently, Immy.  I was in my fave hair shop and I saw a lovely avie come in and stand in front of a display.  I cammed closer to her and noticed that she had blonde prim sticking from her right eye.  It is not difficult to fix and she must have known it was there (it nearly obscured her entire eye).  I was in somewhat of a hurry, though, and I said nothing.  Sometimes I wish it were easy to edit prims on someone else. 

 

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A lot of times I wonder how I may appear to others based on their Viewer and or Settings. Sometimes I look different to myself based on the lighting situation, at times I love the effect and at other times I ask myself, "is this how I really look and I don't realize it?" I like to justify it in my mind by remembering that even beauty models whose photo is taken in crappy lighting can have not so flattering pictures, but then again I wonder if I am deluding myself. So, to answer your question, when I see not so hot Avatars, I wonder if in their Viewer they look really great to themselves, and, if anyone were to notice that something about my appearance was amiss, I would love to have it pointed out. Maybe. One time, an Avatar that was a Demon complete with Wings and Pink hair and Long tail and BDSM type clothing told me my tattoos didn't look real and that I should get new ones. My thought was, "and a pink haired Demon is REAL?" It kinda hurt my feelings cause I love those tattoos, but I understood what she meant, if my Avatar showed up in RL, those purple butterflies would probably look like body paint, but then, Charolotte doesn't plan on visiting RL anytime soon. :)

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That's really only happened to me once; I normally don't really look at an avatar's appearance with a critical eye, I guess. But once upon a time I met someone who was really new but still somehow just so much fun she was fun to be around and she had made friends all over. She was working as a dancer and to be honest her whole look was really lame. I was there yakking with her and a girl came in who was just totally gorgeous. At some point in the chat I guess she figured my friend was my friend and IM'd me "You need to help her!". I was actually a little flattered since it at least meant I wasn't a total loss.

I couldn't really come right out and say anything so I spent some time finding good places having sales, freebies, etc, and then kept sending her links. Skins, hair, clothes, everything. Just being friendly, you know? And in fact since she was spending about 8-10 hours a day in SL (as opposed to my 1-3) within a few days she looked entirely delectable.

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Venus Petrov wrote:

  Have you ever met someone who, you think, could use help with their appearance?  Perhaps it is matching the skin to their shape, adjusting the prim bits on their clothing, editing hair, just anything.  Have you ever said anything to try to help and, if so, how was it received?

I saw this gentleman the other day who had this big muscular body and perched between two massive shoulders on top of a thick neck sat this teenie tiny little head.  It really looked odd.  I didn't say anything.  Perhaps he thought it looked fantabulous.  How do you begin THAT conversation?

 

 

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When I was new in SL I really appreciated the help a few people gave me. One lady gave me $L300 to buy an outfit in the shop she was modeling in, explaining that they also had good walking AOs in them. Later she saw me with a prim necklace sticking out of my shoulder & took the time to show me how to edit prims. One man gave me several nice skins, which really helped me look better too.

When I see someone who looks like they need help, I check to see how old they are, then give them links to good freebie shopping. The harder part is turning down friend requests from newbies once I've had a little conversation with them. I explain that I have too many friends already & then decline their request, rather than unfriending them when they're not around.

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Parrish Ashbourne wrote:

The one that really gets to me is when an avatar that's over 4 years old has a blank profile.  Even if they have a good looking avatar, this says to me I'm not here to make friends.  When It come to what would you say to an older avatar that needs a make over, the big question is, what would you say to Phillip Linden?

 

Now, his avatar makes me laugh.  His was an amusing-looking avatar (the olde style hair) and I think he captured the joy and wonder that SL can be.  I would not have told him to change a thing. 

I actually did see an avatar whose rez date was 08 and his profile, but for one pick, was blank.  He said that he'd just returned after a break.  His avatar looked fine but I suggested that he might want to beef up his profile so that others would not think that he was an alt.

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Solaria Goldshark wrote:


Venus Petrov wrote:

  Have you ever met someone who, you think, could use help with their appearance?  Perhaps it is matching the skin to their shape, adjusting the prim bits on their clothing, editing hair, just anything.  Have you ever said anything to try to help and, if so, how was it received?

I saw this gentleman the other day who had this big muscular body and perched between two massive shoulders on top of a thick neck sat this teenie tiny little head.  It really looked odd.  I didn't say anything.  Perhaps he thought it looked fantabulous.  How do you begin THAT conversation?

 

 

I think Immy on page 1 had a good strategy.

 

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In the past I've helped people sort out some of their appearance issues, but usually only as a result of having been talking to them already. I won't say or suggest anything to random people unless I'm asked. I Usually do something like Immy said, in that I just try to approach the subject and the details of it with a bit of tact, though sometimes being blunt is also needed. I don't even try to talk about such things with that "certain variety" of person who's been around a bit and has the "what does it matter?" attitude about their appearance, because they'll never get it and you'll just end up wasting time and pissing them off. They're not in SL to worry about impressions from AVs and treat it almost exclusively like a chat room and nothing more. I've also had a few newer guys almost literally beg me to tell them what's wrong and help them fix it, usually with statements like "be blunt", "lay it on me",  and "just say it, I wanna know". Those can actually be quite entertaining, not just because they're open to suggestion, but because they tend to really listen and learn in the process. I don't get a lot of payback just shopping and dressing up someones AV for them, but if they learn the "why's" and "hows" that I pass on, then I feel like I've made a more permenant contribution and don't mind helping out.

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Many good answers here. :smileyhappy:

I try to not comment on appearance, since it is a touchy subject.  If they ask me first, or in some way comment that they want a change, are unhappy with the way they look, that is different.

Shapes are really, really hard. I can see a male avatar who has really wide shoulders and tiny head, and I just bite my tongue. I mean, it is really rude to go after him about his shoulders.... what would I say if a stranger started picking on my shape? The best would probably be to suggest his head could be bigger? Maybe he is happy and think he looks super, and there is probably lots of women who like that look too. Depends on what he want, not what I want.

Trying to teach someone how to edit prims is really hard and timeconsuming, hehe. I second she who suggested we could edit prims on others! :smileyvery-happy:

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Once I was shopping in a furniture store when a newbie started to type for help in the local chat. He was born 10 minutes ago and was completely lost (and even worse, he was French, lol). He was stuck with a bunch of green hair and almost no clothes at all. He was so frantic about improving his appearance I took him to some freebie market and I remember spending 4 full hours with him choosing clothes and AOs! I also gave him 500 L to buy a proper shape and skin. In the end of the afternoon, he was looking like a playboy and on the next day I saw him chasing all the girls around at Intimate Moments! :smileyvery-happy:

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I'm also someone who usually neglects his profile, unless pushed or something of particular interest pops up. I'm curious, what is it in another's profile would you go looking for and what would you not?

I've seen varied profiles over time, some more about their experiences with others than themselves - what makes a good profile that would reflect on their appearance to you?

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Adromaw Lupindo wrote:

I'm also someone who usually neglects his profile, unless pushed or something of particular interest pops up. I'm curious, what is it in another's profile would you go looking for and what would you not?

I've seen varied profiles over time, some more about their experiences with others than themselves - what makes a good profile that would reflect on their appearance to you?

 

Of course, I perved your profile.  What I hear you say in it is that you script, script, script.  You also like to RP and you like to relax in a coffeehouse environment, play games, and visit relaxing places.  It says nothing about your RL but that is your choice.  You have only one pick.  Curious for someone who has been inworld for over two years, but not unusual.  I suppose if I were interested in striking up a conversation with you, I might ask you about the coffeehouse.

There are those who leave profiles fairly barren because they wish to have a conversation first--i.e., ask me what you want to know. I prefer to find something that might be of interest to me or is a common interest to start a conversation.  So, look at your profile as if it were someone else's and think of how you might start a conversation with yourself.

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Venus Petrov wrote:

 Of course, I perved your profile.  What I hear you say in it is that you script, script, script.  You also like to RP and you like to relax in a coffeehouse environment, play games, and visit relaxing places.  It says nothing about your RL but that is your choice.  You have only one pick.  Curious for someone who has been inworld for over two years, but not unusual.  I suppose if I were interested in striking up a conversation with you, I might ask you about the coffeehouse.

There are those who leave profiles fairly barren because they wish to have a conversation first--i.e., ask me what you want to know. I prefer to find something that might be of interest to me or is a common interest to start a conversation.  So, look at your profile as if it were someone else's and think of how you might start a conversation with yourself.

 

The technical difficulty of the profile being wiped twice during the web profile roll out aside, thank you for the detailed input. It gives a solid direction to reflect on. Closer to that two years ago there were more role-play orientated picks, though they were limited still and generally a weak point.

I'll leave myself a post-it to remind myself to give it more thought.

I am curious if people favour updating their picks around a loose timeframe or if they try to tell a SL life story with them.

The account birth dates don't really tell an accurate account how long we have been here though. My own personally is marred by roughly two absences with an estimated downtime between 6-9 months of that time.

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Adromaw Lupindo wrote:

 

The technical difficulty of the profile being wiped twice during the web profile roll out aside, thank you for the detailed input. It gives a solid direction to reflect on. Closer to that two years ago there were more role-play orientated picks, though they were limited still and generally a weak point.

I'll leave myself a post-it to remind myself to give it more thought.

I am curious if people favour updating their picks around a loose timeframe or if they try to tell a SL life story with them.

The account birth dates don't really tell an accurate account how long we have been here though. My own personally is marred by roughly two absences with an estimated downtime between 6-9 months of that time.

I look at my own profile every six months or so unless I have come across a place I particularly enjoy and then I will try to find a place for it in my picks.  Usually, my picks are full so that means I have to switch one out.  There are things in my profile that mean something to me and would not direct a person to someplace.  The one thing I have had constant in my profile since pretty much my rez date is a quote on 2nd Life 'Abouts' section from Amy Lee/Evanescence:  '..breathe into me, make me real, bring me to life.'

 

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Since beauty is in eye of beholder I keep my mouth shut unless they are a nooblet wearing starter stuff. 

Have met avies that I thought were really horrid looking, but, they thought they were beautiful.  Have had custom clients want looks that are so messed I wonder... "why? just why would you want to look like this? lol" 

So, who's to really say.  If you feel fab that is all that counts.  We are a big enough world to embrace everything.

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