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finding love on secondlife


brittanybelike
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SL isn't a dating service. I wouldn't advise using it as one. It can and does happen, of course, that people meet and begin a relationship and move it to RL and are very happy together; but it's not terribly common. SL isn't set up for that. It's better, imo, to go in expecting and trying to make friends, and see if a relationship evolves naturally. 

For a RL relationship, stick to RL dating services like those you're already on. 

The closest thing I can think of in SL is AVMatch. If you really want a relationship, try that, perhaps. 

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I largely agree with the lady above, most people I know go on SL to get a break from RL.

I'd also just point out that the majority of people I have met in SL (and it's not that I'm particularly kinky) who were interested in RL relations, were primarily looking for RL sex. So just be aware you'll most likely encounter that too if you start looking for RL stuff.. but I guess that can be part of dating too ;)

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Barracuda Gage wrote:

im flabbergasted by yalls responses to this lady....

Care to expand on that for us?

All I have is my own perception and while I do know a few who have met in SL and have successfully taken it to RL,  those couples are the exceptions, not the rule.  Ariel and Ticee seem to have similar experiences as I.  While it is possible, it is rare and we don't want to give Brittany unreal expectations in finding a RL relationship in a virtual world.

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I agree with most people that SL isn't a dating service for RL relationships.

 

You can however encounter love in this world, which closely resembles love in the real world, especially when you use voice and exchange pics. And in rare cases it does lead to RL relationships, which in turn fail in 90% of the cases according to statistics.

 

But you should be careful if you choose to go this route.

Some people Roleplay their avi/characters like a novel writer.

Which can lead to a painful situation where one person is deeply in love with a fictional personage.

And even when the love is real, do not expect an exclusive relationship. In the real world 50% of couples cheat on their partners. My rough estimate is that its 90-95% in SL.

Which makes it a general rule, if everyone does it, its no longer cheating but do keep that in mind to prevent getting hurt.

 

 

Bottom line: Yes you will probably be able to find love that stays within SL. Based on real emotions and real voice, but relayed via avatars. Also keep in mind that this young handsome guy with sixpack could be a bald old fat guy in reality.

 

Personally I wouldn't care because ones mind is what's important for me. But if you are looking for a RL love, then it does become an issue.

 

Choose wisely

 

 

 

 

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Bluemoonn00 wrote:

And in rare cases it does lead to RL relationships, which in turn fail in 90% of the cases according to statistics.

 


Which statistics? And on what metric do they 'fail'? 100% of RL relationships fail over a long enough period ('everyone dies!) - the percentage is meaningless without qualifiers.


Bluemoonn00 wrote:

In the real world 50% of couples cheat on their partners. My rough estimate is that its 90-95% in SL.

Which makes it a general rule, if everyone does it, its no longer cheating but do keep that in mind to prevent getting hurt.


50% doesn't seem like a real count (how would it even be obtained?), if it exists in the real world it was probably a limited study in a relatively puritanical and highly legislative western country (such as the US) where hypergamy is frequently rewarded. I've never seen any study that approaches this number.

90-95% in SL may seem totally logical to you, to the point where evidence isn't even necessary. That sounds sad for your limited experience but doesn't really mean anything to those outside of it. Diversity is everywhere in Second Life, there is no such thing as a singular  or unified reaction to infidelity or even to approaching relationships at fundamental levels.

By the way, 'cheating' as a concept is definitely still cheating even if 100% of people do it. Moral concepts aren't derived from their success in the wild. What is more interesting than decrying the perception of high rates of cheating, is the possibility of reacting productively to negative experiences. Getting past superficiality is one thing, getting past expectations of posession, ever-lasting love and removal of the freedom to explore and change is quite another.

Old, comfortable dynamics weren't designed for love across wires. This technological reality doesn't make love bad, doesn't prevent people from finding deeply important romantic and non-romantic connections. Is just different. Different is good, even if not everyone gets it right away.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've been on plenty of fish and I think sometimes the majority of the guys I've met on here are more emotionally involved than those on plenty of fish. There are a lot of sexual pervs on POF. At least here, I think there is a greater chance of getting to know someone than POF if they are being themselves and not playing a role. Whether it is sl or POF, there is always a chance you are falling for a fantasy rather than a reality with anything online. Always be cautious and have realistic expectations.

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