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2 minutes ago, Solar Legion said:

Some of those who have asked questions may have ulterior motives, many simply do not and wish merely to understand. It is the unfortunate nature of the Human Mind to be unable to ask the questions it wishes to ask simply because of a lack of information.

There is an unfortunately complex reality of learning to be a Trans ally. That is: some questions are not “ok”. Examples include: “Did you have surgery?” “How am I supposed to tell if they are a man, or a woman?” It is basically none of anyone’s business. 

Some questions are encouraged, such as: “How would you like to be addressed?” “What pronoun do you use”? Many people put their pronouns in email signatures these days, for example “he/his”, or “they/theirs”.

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Instead of editing my above post - since you've already reacted to it Love - I'll just make a new response:

As a bit of full disclosure I am male by birth and predominantly in mindset - there are exceptions. I am Bisexual with a strong leaning to being attracted to females.

Outside of Second Life I do not have the patience to explore my more effeminate side and tendencies nor do I truly have the body to be able to dress in traditionally "female" clothing - let alone the time and patience it would take to rectify this (I look bloody horrible in nylons for example and as far as ever wearing a One Piece bathing suit ... forget it). I am very thankful to live with a few people and have as my significant other (as I prefer to say however, my Mate) someone very supportive of exploring these traits.

My Second Life self somewhat reflects this in its own way actually: The bulk of the avatar forms I have are Male enough to not be mistaken for anything but Male. I do - however - have a small set that actually has been mistaken for being Female and that has been due to their very design. A set of Feline avatars that dress, mostly move and are proportioned in a way that some simply cannot tell whereas some have assumed them to be Female.

I am not Trans and can never wholly understand what Trans people go through. My perspective is simply one of a Male whose body does not match his not entirely Male mind. 

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7 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

There is an unfortunately complex reality of learning to be a Trans ally. That is: some questions are not “ok”. Examples include: “Did you have surgery?” “How am I supposed to tell if they are a man, or a woman?” It is basically none of anyone’s business. 

Some questions are encouraged, such as: “How would you like to be addressed?” “What pronoun do you use”? Many people put their pronouns in email signatures these days, for example “he/his”, or “they/theirs”.

Reality is in and of itself even more complex than that as while some questions may make one uncomfortable ..... There are in truth very few that should be taboo.

Asking if they had surgery is one of those, yes.

Asking how one is to tell if the other is Male, Female or somewhere in between? The answer should always be to pay attention to their speech, mannerisms and such.

We live in a world where many societies place a large emphasis on the external indicators and nowhere near enough on the internal ones. Genetically speaking, the primary data which determines those external attributes in Humans is Binary - no matter how much others may dislike it.

Internally however? That is far more complex and unfortunately cannot be wholly explained using genetics. Not yet anyway. There are certain chemical compounds which can have an effect on how a given person sees their own body or how they express their individuality. To a minor extent social mores also come into play.

To go back to my most recent response for a moment: Externally, thanks to my very genetic makeup I am Male. Internally .... that line is rather blurred and that is in part due to varied chemicals and hormones that were either part of the in utero wash that occurs during development or that result from genetic expression while also my own upbringing played a part.

To shorten that all up a bit for anyone else reading whose eyes may be getting either glassy or red: There are a multitude of factors to consider and by far the most important of these is not the external set brought about by genetic expression - it is the internal set. That is where the fluidity lies. It is part of why people can have vastly different personalities, sexualities and gender expressions.

Simply put: Like it or not there is no easy answer to how one comes by their definition of self, sexuality or gender. We simply cannot - at this time - look solely to genetics and bluntly cannot point at Nature either.

I do apologize if this upsets anyone - this is nothing more than an attempt to be both clinical on this while relating my own, personal information and experience to the topic at hand.

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